In your hands, the mighty Helm of the Asciiroth pulses and vibrates with powers beyond anything in this world.
You've done it! You're no longer just any old dirt-digging archaeologist, you're an adventurer archaeologist with a story and an artifact that will be worth a fortune!
Not to mention, you can analyze this puppy for the rest of soon-to-be-tenured life! You can write books about this thing that'll be best sellers, and give lecture tours until your entire estate is out of arrears! There might even be movie rights!
Congratulations!